I started this blog in 2014 when I was approaching the end of my undergraduate degree. I was both confused and overwhelmed with life. The blog was supposed to be my space where I could to pin my thoughts. Before I got into it, I stopped.
Now 6 years later I’m in much better place in life. I’m ready to write again. Let’s hope I keep it up this time.
This poem was to sent to me a few days back, thought i’d share.
“Stop moaning. Everyone is in the same boat and is stressed about it, it’s not just you.”
I’d like to say this is a direct quote. But it’s not. It’s more of a morphing of several sentences that have come from friends, teachers, relatives, and just things in the media. My A level German teacher even threatened to kick me off of the course because my attendance was low. Yet the boy that had a physical illness did not get the same threat.
Because it’s such a huge issue that can be reacted to in many, different ways, I’ve been debating how to write this. Do I make it serious and really focus in on my own personal bad experience with mental illnesses, or do I use my horrific sense of humour to focus on the personality behind mental illnesses? I’ve gone with a mix of both. Partly because…
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The video below made me smile and feel really happy. So i thought i’d share it.
The past month has been quite a tough month for me personally with the last few days having been particularly hard. It’s consisted of me being rejected by a University that i really wanted to go to, having my bicycle stolen (something which meant so much to me) and also the realisation that my degree is quickly slipping away from me. All quite distressing to say the least.
But despite all of this i think it’s important to remember just to smile whilst working to get through those difficult moments life sometimes throws at you. Most people will go through hard times at one point or another in their life, this is one reason why i think it’s important to appreciate people around you.
Often making others smile brings me the most joy in life and i think this video reminds us all just how little we spend doing that these days. I think it’s important to remember that even the smallest bit care in life has the potential to bring an individual joy beyond measure.
Anything you wanna come instantly.
Boy, cash running in your pockets
You skate high, gold on your finger tips
They try to make people nervous, you nervous
Something missing in your smile
Something missing in your soul
Are you suffering the blues?
Tell me why, tell my when, tell me why? when?
Green dollar bills slipped your hand, little man
Anything you wanna come instantly.
Boy, when did the plan slip your hand, little man?
Anything you wanna come instantly.
Castle, house, cars and the ladies
Boy, blues no doubt, got you feeling empty
Hello. I have had such an incredible response since posting part 1 of this fictional story. Thank you for reading.
I lose yet another fight with sleep. Morning is mocking me.
I sit, have a sip of water, take in the air and watch two ducks paddle together in the pond opposite me. Running gives me a high, which takes me away from here. It’s been weeks since I have seen her. My heart is beating faster, i feel ill. I tell myself to get up and walk. Running though the park, memories of visiting Nepal capture my thoughts. I have always enjoyed travelling; making new friends, exploring alien places, encountering new situations, all bring a certain sense of thrill that i’ve yet to discover in other aspects of life.
I don’t want to go to the theatre anymore, or to Edinburgh or even to that bar. These were things I wanted to do with her, which never materialised. Instead i want to explore Chile and survey the streets of Santiago. I draw up a list of places i want to see, and book for the next day. All ready, i’ve packed, my passport is in hand, my terminal is opposite me. At last, I feel excitement with some real conviction. I’m going exploring.
Hello, thank you for reading me. Recently I have found some delight in creative writing, below is the introduction to a short story I have been working on.
When i’m bored I like to write, she says. Whilst sipping her ice mocha. She swings back and begins to plat her hair. Her navy blue converse shoes are nicely colour co-ordinated to match my hoodie, she looks beautiful. A little later I tell her that I like the lipstick on her lips, thanks, she says. Take me to the the theatre with you one day, I say. She agrees, and just like that, another thing is added to the already many adventures we plan to have together. I like seeing and doing things with her, the moments we share are magic, like when we went for pizza.
I smile, I like where things are going. But does she? Emotional security is not something i do not posses, so situations like this perplex my mind. History has been unkind, i guess. Walking away after coffee, i think to myself. This, today, will not last long. I have a future away from this place and being far away will complicate things.
Earlier is week i attended an event hosted by Dr. Emma L Briant.
Dr. Emma Briant along with her colleagues Dr. Pauline Donald & Professor Greg Philo have recently collaborated on a book called “Bad News For Refugees”. This event was a discussion of some of the ideas around the topic of the book.
Below are some notes I made on the evening.
Research for the book began in 2006 shortly after Charles Clark’s resignation, it it consisted of a content analysis of all media reporting on matters related to immigration and asylum all the way up to 2011.
Research led to some interesting findings:
– Asylum seekers often grouped with other migrants.
– Illegal immigrants often grouped with asylum seekers.
– Media will sometimes confuse the terms asylum seekers and illegal immigrants
– illegal immigrants and asylum seekers often grouped together for statistics.
– Campaign for deportation of immigrants effecting lives of asylum seekers to the point where their children are often feel embarrassment.
Younger journalists are often handed immigration stories. An example was given of a young woman who was told she had to write a vile exaggerated story about asylum seekers. When she refused, she was only handed similar stories for the ned three weeks until she quit her job.
By enlarge reporting around this issue was very negative – to some extent justifies public anxiety.
Language used, often criminalising/negative language used. E.G. “Refugees are at large” “Flooded, engulfed, tidal wave etc.
Politicians have almost legitimised this “anti” behaviour.
Section 5 of Labour’s manifesto in 2005 was titled “Crime & Immigration” – Grouping of two very different things. Creates an image that suggests immigration is somehow criminal, or at least related go crime.
In a recent interview Theresa May used “illegal immigrants” to label people who were fleeing war in Africa.
One of the most highest legislated areas in law is immigration, yet legal aid for immigration has faced biggest cuts.
Guest lectures at University are always interesting, they are a fantastic opportunity to get a different insight into a subject. As well as this guest lectures sometimes provide a great platform to meet likeminded students and lecturers who are generally just as interested in the subject area as you are.
Earlier this week, I attended a guest lecture about breaking into security, given by Robin Wood, a well known pen-tester. Here are my notes from the lecture.
It is important to have to good understanding of programming languages if you want to become a pen tester, having the ability to write a short script automating repetitive tasks is time saving and can mean you can focus on other aspects of the job! The most useful languages to learn include;
If you are new to the world of computing and want a place to learn how to program, I personally recommend Code Academy.
There is a lot of help available for rockies out there, people who have been in the industry are happy to help, but as a beginner you have to put a lot of effort in yourself also! The internet is full of useful resources for people to make use off, check out online mentors, podcasts, etc.
@infosecmentors – Provide rockies with mentors and are a good place to go if you are looking for somebody to help ‘coach’ you through some of the tedious bits of the learning process.
Exotic Liability – A series of podcasts available to download – useful!
Securitytube.net – A website with some great tutorials on all kinds of things from wi-fi security to iOS security.
Networking is very important, sign up to mailing lists, write (and update) your blog fairly regularly, get involved with open source projects and go to conferences – but don’t go to conferences just for the talks, go also for the networking aspects! Conferences are a fantastic place to meet the right kind of people, who could help you out in future searches for a job.
securityfocus.com – A good mailing list to sign up to!
Twitter – Also a powerful resource
Be able to network well, will help mean that you become known and this will almost certainly help with getting the right career. Remember being a good programmer/hacker is one thing, but you also need to have good/excellent soft skills such a communication and report writing.
Having good communications skills will help to communicate problems/solutions more effectively with management – Remember business CEO’s will sometimes have little concern/time for the ICT infrastructure in their company, so what you might think is an important issue for them to deal with might not necessarily be so in your managers eyes.
Good certifications to have if you want to get into security in ICT.
I hope you find this helpful – Remember these are just some basic notes that I made during the lecture.
If you want to learn more it’s probably best to get in touch with Robin himself @digininja
Check out Robin’s website here.
Zee Ahmed 